It's raining babies here in Oklahoma! Because of that, I've been doing my part to re-populate this state. Since Tuesday at midnight (until Thursday about 4PM), I've caught 3 more boys and 3 more girls...now I'm up to 26! Also, since Tuesday morning, I've had about 9 1/2 hours of sleep, but amazingly (for someone who really likes her sleep), I've been able to keep going.
Something happened today that made this young stork laugh out loud...of course, outside the patient's room. I had gone in to check on one of my young patients. As we chatted briefly, she asked me the dreaded question...the one I really hate to be asked..."Have you got any children?"
Now, I feel a little explanation is in order. You should know I haven't always hated that question. The fact of the matter is that when I worked in labor and delivery some years ago, my patients would look at me with this quizzical look, ask me that question, and when I responded that I didn't have any children (yet), the follow-up question would come..."Do you mean you can watch me in labor and still want to have children"? I could honestly say I did want children, especially since I had names for 8 children in an old journal. Now I don't know if I really wanted 8 children, but I was fascinated with the concept of names and their meanings (and still am....), so I had very meaningful names selected for any children that I and my future husband might have.
However, Mr. Right hasn't come along (yet), and now time has marched along, and I can no longer have children. The suggestion has been made several times over the years that I adopt (by myself), but as much as I think I would have been a good mom, I don't want to voluntarily become a single mom...single parenting is too challenging in my mind to volunteer for the job. I can honestly say that I'm happy simply helping women become moms and men become dads...I always have been, and especially with my new role, I expect I always will be.
The thing that makes me not like the question when it is posed now is that I sense that it's often a way that women 'size me up' as to whether I know what I'm doing while I help them give birth. Women do this to each other all the time...checking up to see if other women live up to a particular standard of womanhood, especially as it relates to childbearing and choices related to that process. I trust they aren't intentionally trying to make me feel uncomfortable, but since I know my situation far better than they can, it does 'dig' a little. I wish they could understand that even if I had given birth, I would know only what my experiences were and still couldn't know exactly what their experiences are.
So now...back to the story. When the question came, I gulped and said, "No, I didn't get to have that experience". My young patient (who by then had received an epidural) said, "Well, girl, you don't want to be havin' no children. This hurts too much!" It was all I could do to get outside her room before laughing...not at her, but at the way she advised me and how the conversation took a totally different direction than I had expected. She went on to deliver a healthy baby boy this afternoon, but I think her friends will get a seriously large earful of advice when she goes back to school!
...and the stork just laughed!
1 comment:
Kathy, you shared your feelings and thoughts beautifully in this post. Have you ever considered writing for a midwifery magazine or anything? Seriously!
On that note, if you get a chance check out my new writing blog at www.encouragingwordsforwriters.blogspot.com.
Honestly, I had no idea that you write so well. I hope you will seriously consider your options in that area. You could make a nice little supplemental income writing for medical magazines. So when things slow down...and I'm assuming they will eventually...give it some thought and prayer.
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